Fuck Valentine’s Day
Well, here it is again kids, February 14th, fucking Valentine’s Day. This ‘celebration’ has spread like a disease from its western host to become a worldwide Pandemic and in its growth it has metastasized into a squashy, warm cheese slab of a holiday revolving around commodity transaction.
It was originally set as a date to remember St. Valentine’s imprisonment and beheading for daring to perform Christian marriages secretly under the Roman Empire, it did have a bit of nonsense about miracles mixed in but still a respectable tradition in the general sense arguably, what the hell is it now?
Do you think it’s just one of those cute occasions to treat one’s partner to dinner or chocolate or roses or whatever? THINK AGAIN!, this day is a marketing binge-fest where supposedly loved-up couples are brainwashed into consumer-mode by the forces that be. We in the UK are estimated to spend a total of 595 million pounds this Valentines. Chocolate and card companies will make an absolute killing. We could all have donated this money spent on sickly treats to a worthy charity, say one treating and researching Heart disease, mending broken hearts for real, but no they wouldn’t want that would they and being the corporate dogs that we are, we listen.
Valentines is just a capitalist ploy for boosting profits of these firms who’ve hijacked and commercialized the initial Holiday. It’s nothing but a corporate shell. Couples should always be surprising and treating each other anyway and shouldn’t wait for some preordained date to engage with their loved ones nor should they feel some forced social pressure to do something either, this is obscene. Certain children and adults shouldn’t have their loneliness framed and paraded on a special day the explicitly isolates them. disgraceful.
If you want to make a difference in the world join me and boycott Valentine’s day and stick a spanner in the Capitalist Cog-work, if your partner can’t understand and is upset by this, then they probably aren’t for you ‘ay comrade!
So Yeah FUCK VALENTINES, VIVA LA S.A.D.
Happy Valentines x
(…and yeeeaah, I am single, and having read this article now you know why.)
(This Guy is a Role Model For us all: ‘Bitter single books out cinema’)
(Amendment: A good thing about Valentine’s Day – Discount Chocolate, I retract all of the above in favor of this, and I recommend renaming Valentines Day: ‘Discount Chocolate day’.)